ABOUT MONKEYS.

I never can tell a story properly unless there are several little listeners gathered round me, and I like to have one rosy-cheeked darling to cuddle up on my lap; so now we must fancy all these preparations made, a bright fire burning, before which we have settled ourselves comfortably, and we know that nurse is not coming with her fatal tap at the door (which must be instantly obeyed, remember) for a whole hour yet. I think I hear a chorus of little voices say, ‘Go on, please.’ What shall the stories be about to-night? Let me see; what do I know about monkeys? not out of books, or from other people’s lips; these will be monkeys of my personal acquaintance.

In case any little boys or girls wish very much to have a monkey for their very own, I will first warn them by telling them of three attempts I made to set up one of these animals as a pet. My first monkey was brought to me early one morning at Lucknow, a great city in India, a few years ago. I had only been a fortnight in India, and about two days at Lucknow. The evening before, at a dinner-party, I happened to say how much I should like to have a monkey, and immediately four voices said, ‘Oh! I will give you mine with pleasure.’ When I thought of this afterwards, it looked very suspicious that the owners of the monkeys should be so ready to part with them; it seemed as though they had been rather troublesome pets; but at the time I only felt how good-natured everybody was, and how much I should like to be able to accept all four monkeys; but as this was impossible, I contented myself with selecting one whose master gave him an excellent character. My last thought at night and my first in the morning was one of joy and impatience to see my new pet. It is the custom in India, as I daresay you have heard, to get up very early, so by six o’clock I was dressed in a loose muslin wrapper, and sitting under the shade of a beautiful clump of trees in the garden. The lady with whom we were spending a few days was with me, and we had some delicious coffee and biscuits on a table before us for our chotahasseri, or ‘little breakfast.’ Our husbands had gone to a review, and we two ladies intended to be very industrious, and take a lesson in Hindoostanee from a Moonshee with a long white beard. The old gentleman had not yet arrived to teach us, so I inquired whether my dear monkey had made its appearance, and heard that it was in the ‘compound’ or courtyard, and that its late master had sent the servant who always took care of it, in case I wished to secure his services. I wanted to have the monkey brought to me at once, but as the Moonshee could now be seen coming slowly up the garden walk, looking very clean and nice with his snow-white robes and turban, Mrs. R—— persuaded me to wait till our lesson was over.

I am sadly afraid that, although I was big enough and old enough to know better, the poor Moonshee had one rather idle and inattentive pupil that morning, and I was very glad when the time came for shutting up the books with their dreadful crabbed letters, and Mrs. R—— kindly said, ‘Now, shall we send for the monkey?’ I need not tell you how eagerly I answered ‘Yes,’ to this proposal; and a few moments afterwards I saw a tall swarthy Indian servant approaching us, making low bows down to the ground at every step. He was leading a monkey by a chain round its waist, and carrying a plate in the other hand. I could not tell the height of the animal on account of its shambling way of half-walking half-crawling, but it turned out afterwards to be about as tall as the table; it was not quite black, but very glossy. When they were within two or three yards of us, the ‘mater’ (as that class of low-caste servant is called in India) said, ‘Salaam, Bobbee,’ and Bobby put his black paw up to his forehead, and slapped it several times, bending low as he did so, exactly in the way the mater had been going on ever since he came in sight. It is the Indian way of saying ‘How do you do?’ or ‘Good morning.’ I was delighted of course, and thought Bobby had charming manners, but when he came closer I did not quite like his being so big and strong, or so very inquisitive; he did not seem in the least shy, but made himself at home directly, and when his servant put the fruit and cake which he had brought for him on the table before me, Master Bobby quickly climbed up and seated himself on my knee, as if he had known me all his life. As soon as he had finished his breakfast,—and he did not take long about it,—the mater took away the empty plate, and with many more salaams retired leaving Bobby still on my knee, very busy examining my buckle and ear-rings, pricking his fingers with my brooch, and every now and then stroking my hair. I was not at all easy in my mind, but sat quite still, and tried to conceal from Bobby that I disliked his company or felt frightened. After a little while he noticed some ribbon on my sleeve, and tried to pick it off with his finger and thumb, as if it had been a flower; he next set to work diligently to roll up the wide open sleeve of my dressing-gown into a long narrow bundle: this he did very slowly and neatly, chattering softly to himself all the time. By degrees he got it all rolled up to my shoulder, leaving my arm quite bare. I sat patiently waiting to see what he was going to do next, when he gave a sort of yell, dug his nails and teeth into my arm, and tore it down to the wrist, leaving four or five rows of bleeding scratches on it. I jumped up with a scream, which brought all the servants out to see what was the matter; not one of them would touch him, but some ran to call the mater, who carried Master Bobby off kicking and fighting like a naughty child. He had fastened on poor Mrs. R——’s foot after I had shaken him off my lap, and was biting and scratching it with all his might.

In the meantime my arm was smarting dreadfully; it did not bleed much, but the pain was really very severe, and I had to keep wet cloths wrapped round it all day. The servants told us that the mater had already confessed that Bobby was ‘very bad to Mem-sahibs,’ and did not like them at all; so after our breakfast I wrote a polite little note to his former master, and returned Bobby to him with many thanks. This was the end of my first attempt to have a pet monkey; he was only mine for two hours.

A year or so afterwards I was on my way back to England, and the ship stopped at Ceylon for a few days. I had been told that most beautiful little monkeys were to be bought there; and all the time we were at Point-de-Galle I tried very hard to find one to purchase, but it was too early in the spring for the young ones to be taken from their mothers, so there were none in the market. I returned, after a week’s absence on shore, very disconsolately to the ship without having succeeded in procuring a monkey; but the first person I met on board was the fat, good-natured old captain nursing tenderly in his arms a wee monkey of a beautiful tawny-golden colour, and with the gentlest, sweetest little face. The moment the dear old gentleman saw me he came up, and before I could speak, handed me the treasure, saying, ‘I knew you would not be able to get one at this time of year, and a friend of mine promised to keep one for me, so here it is for your very own.’ You may imagine how delighted I was; this was exactly the sort of monkey I had always wanted, and I did not know how to leave off thanking the captain. For the next day or two I nursed and fondled my monkey incessantly; it was very shy, and as quiet as a little mouse, but the most engaging gentle creature. Its timidity was not at all like stupidity, for it was very intelligent, but seemed completely dazed by the noise and bustle of a large steamer full of passengers. There was a squalling baby on board, whom it never tired of watching, I suppose because it was nearest its own size; and when this infant was on deck and set up one of its shrill shrieks, the monkey used to stop its ears with its tiny fingers, and look up piteously in my face, as much as to say, ‘What a horrid noise!’

Unfortunately for my pretty little pet, I fell ill, and could not have the monkey in my cabin, but I was assured that the head steward, in whose care it was solemnly placed, looked after it, and reported well of its state of health. As soon as ever I could get on deck I asked for my monkey to be brought to me, but saw at once that something was wrong, for every one to whom I applied put me off with a different excuse; so after dinner, in the cool of the evening, when our dear old captain came to speak to me, I begged him to take me ‘forrard’ (as the front part or bow of a ship is called) that I might find out how and where my monkey was. I could only walk very slowly, for I was weak still; and whilst we were crawling towards the place where the sheep and poultry were kept, the captain told me there was a very large fierce monkey also on board called ‘Jenny,’ belonging to the crew, and that she had caught sight of my poor little darling, seized it in her arms, and that nothing would induce her to part with it for an instant night or day. She seemed very fond of it, but her affection was evidently so disagreeable to my little pet, that the sailors had watched her incessantly to try and get it out of her clutches; however, as she always vented her rage at these attempts on the unoffending monkey, whom she cuffed and shook heartily, the men thought it best to leave her alone, hoping she would tire some day of her plaything. When the captain and I came upon her she had my poor monkey tucked under one arm, and was skipping about the bulwarks. You never saw anything so forlorn as the little one looked. One of its eyes was bleeding from a scratch its nurse had just given it, and it went to my heart to see the melancholy way it put its little black paw up to the wound, and showed me the blood on its fingers.

Weak and ill as I still was, and armed only with my parasol, I determined at once to rescue my monkey from Jenny’s tender mercies, so I let go the captain’s arm; and though, he and everybody else entreated me to take care, for Jenny was very ferocious when roused, I boldly attacked her, and fairly drove her into a corner where there were no ropes by which to escape up the rigging. I made up my mind not to care in the least for scratches or bites; I suppose Jenny perceived that I was desperate, and, sooner than let me have her favourite plaything, she seized it by its tail, whirled it round her head, and flung it into the sea! Oh! how grieved and angry I felt. It was quite useless to attempt to save my poor little pet, for we were going full speed, and no one could see even where it fell: it must have been drowned in a minute. I fairly sat down and cried, and I should have liked Jenny to have been well punished; but no one dare touch her, so she escaped to the rigging, from which she chattered defiance at us.

My third and last pet monkey was not mine at all! Joey belonged to some one else in the house, but attached himself to me from the moment he arrived, as his friend and protectress, and I never saw any animal so fond of a human being as Joey was, and I may say is, of me, though he no longer lives in the same house, having been exchanged by his owner for a musical box! Since his departure from his first home I have been to call on him once or twice, and he is always delighted to see me, and cries piteously when it is time for me to go away.

Joey came last year from the great forests near Panama, and when I first saw him after his sea-voyage I thought him more like a little black imp than anything else. He was very small and hideous, quite black, with a white beard and enormous eyes; having lived in a rough box or cage on board, he had rubbed all the hair off his body and tail, and was very thin and dirty besides: he was made to undergo a whole course of warm baths on his arrival, which he hated; but they improved him immensely, and in a few weeks he became completely clothed in a coat of long glossy black hair, and as handsome as he was capable of looking, which, however, is not saying much. Joey never was shy; his intelligence and cleverness were extraordinary; but it was impossible to make a pet of him on account of his incurably dirty habits, and his unceasing mischief. He was never still for a second, and always doing something wrong, and yet he was so inexpressibly ridiculous that no one had the heart to punish him; he quite understood that he had been naughty, but he had a way of scratching his head when we were scolding him, and looking at us as much as to say, ‘Well, now, really I didn’t think that was any harm.’ Our home at that time was in the country, so Joey had a wide field for mischief; and, as he arrived whilst it was still summer, he commenced some extensive gardening operations of his own at once, which resulted in depriving me of every leaf and blossom on my creepers. No chain could keep him confined; it was merely a question of time. Joey sat down to consider how to get rid of every attempt to fasten him up, and his little clever fingers always contrived to free himself. He would eat or drink almost anything, but he was not at all greedy; the food he liked best was bread and milk, but he took very little of even that. How you would have laughed to see Joey and his favourite companion the kitten sharing their morning meal of milk! He soon taught the kitten that he was to have the first drink, and would lift the little cup up to his lips, take as much as he wanted, placing it on the floor for the kitten afterwards; but whilst she was lapping slowly and with great difficulty, Joey would get impatient, and shake the cup to hasten her movements, walk all round her, tweaking her tail or nipping her fur; but the kitten never stopped lapping, and when he could bear it no longer he used suddenly to drag her head up by both her ears, snatch away the cup, and either break it to pieces as the shortest way of disposing of it, or nimbly mount up on a table or chair and put it out of poor Pussy’s reach. The worst of this playfellow for Joey was that she wanted to play all night and sleep all day, whereas Joey never was still for a second in the daylight, but, as soon as it became dusk, he rolled himself up in his blanket and went to sleep. He could not bear to be disturbed, and used to get into furious rages with the kitten, after vainly trying to persuade her to be quiet and share his blanket with him. I had to watch Joey incessantly on account of his love of hearing the crash china made in falling; the cook could not keep a cup or plate on the dresser—they had to be stowed away in drawers, and for several weeks Joey tried to get at a thermometer which hung outside the house: it baffled him for some time, but at last he discovered a projecting nail, round which he curled his long tail, swung himself up, and had the great satisfaction of making a splendid smash of it. Fortunately the only room in the house into which he would not venture alone was the drawing-room. On each side of the fireplace stood screens of stuffed Indian pheasants of bright and gaudy plumage. Joey was horribly afraid of these, and when I took him into the room never ceased clinging tight round my neck with one slender paw, whilst he covered his face with the other, and peeped at the birds with evident awe. One day I heard extraordinary sounds of choking proceeding from a bedroom as I passed it; the door was closed, but not fastened, so I first knocked, and then, as no one answered, looked in. There was Joey seated on the dressing-table, with his head back, waving his long arms, his eyes starting out of his head, and at the last gasp for want of breath. I found he was trying to swallow a large signet-ring which he had found, and it had stuck in his throat; there was enough of it in his mouth for me to take hold of, and I got it up with much difficulty; but that was very nearly Joey’s last trick, for if some one had not passed he must have died soon. He had previously put everything in the room which could be squeezed down its neck into the water-jug; the soap and sponges were there, so were several trinkets lying about and a small pincushion; the candles (he had broken the candlesticks) and a slipper were sticking out at the top.

I must tell you one more amusement of Joey’s, and that will be the last about him—for a wonder it was not destructive mischief. I missed him one morning, and spent at least two hours in hunting for him, feeling sure he was doing something very naughty by his being so quiet. I searched the house first thoroughly, then the stables, even the coal shed, looked into the washhouse, without seeing him, when just as I was leaving the last place I heard a very gentle chirrup proceeding from behind a pile of empty boxes, and I immediately went softly to see what he was doing. In one of the boxes was a quantity of feathers, and on these the old cat and her kitten had lain down to have a quiet sleep. Joey had found them out, and as they would not wake up and play with him, he amused himself as well as he could by covering them up with feathers; he had succeeded in hiding the kitten completely, and the cat’s ear was the only part of her to be seen. Joey was doing his best to hide this also, but however gently he laid a small feather on it, the cat twitched her ear, and the feather came off. Joey hunted among the boxful for a still lighter feather and tried again, laying it down with the utmost care, but in vain. After many attempts he brought me one and made me try, but my clumsy touch had no chance when his tiny paw had failed. I left him still trying to cover that restless ear.

Now I think perhaps you would like to hear a little of monkeys who were not pets by any means. Whilst I was in India we went up to Simla very early in the season, before the houses were filled with people; and as the place is nearly deserted in the cold winter months, the monkeys, bears, and panthers get very tame, and I am told almost live in the verandahs of the empty houses. I never saw either a bear or a panther,—they betake themselves to the woods the moment they catch sight of any one more alarming than the two or three old watchmen who take care of the town for four months of the year; but the monkeys are not so easily dislodged. Soon after I arrived at Simla, I had to complain to my ayah or maid, that every night the lamp went out, and it was not to be wondered at, for when I examined it in the morning there was no oil in it. In vain she protested that it was regularly filled—if ever I awoke the room was dark, and I did not like this, especially as, though it was an upstair room, and consequently safe from thieves, my window was open. I determined to watch, and saw a big monkey come in very softly at the window and blow out the light, then I could hear him drinking off the oil and smacking his lips over it. On another occasion I was told I could not go out riding because my saddle was unstuffed. As it was perfectly new, I was very much surprised, but it turned out that when my syce or groom was leading my horse with the saddle on, he had lain down to rest, taking the saddle off first, lest the horse should hurt it by rubbing. The syce fell asleep, and when he awoke a crowd of monkeys were gathered round my poor saddle, out of which they had taken every bit of horsehair stuffing. I suppose in time they would entirely have destroyed it, but the lining was the easiest for their strong clever fingers to unpick first.

I had a little terrier who could not endure monkeys, and barked and chased them whenever he saw them. They soon learned to dread and hate him, and when Fury and I were out walking alone, pieces of dry stick, showers of leaves, and boughs of rhododendron blossom would come down on our heads, but Fury only barked and chased our assailants more ferociously than ever. One day the narrow path led through a very thick clump of evergreen oaks, with branches hanging low down on the path. As Fury and I were making our way under these boughs, a long skinny arm was stretched down, Fury was grasped firmly by his long hair, and carried off. I was in despair. I heard my poor dog’s snaps and barks and yelps, but could do nothing. The sounds mounted higher and higher, till at last I caught a glimpse of poor Fury handed about from one to another among a group of monkeys, who were pinching, and pulling, and buffeting him well. When they were tired of this amusement, and had tortured their little enemy to their hearts’ content, they dropped him over the precipice, and there was an end of poor Fury at once.

But the worst trick the large mountain monkeys (‘langours’ they call them at Simla) ever played me was one evening when I had a dinner-party. I must explain to you that the house we lived in was placed on the top of a sharp-pointed hill, and the very little flat ground which remained after the house was built had been left in front of it, so that at the back, where the dining-room stood, there was quite a precipice steep down, with large rhododendron and oak trees growing against the side of the hill. Their trunks were out of sight, but the topmost branches came against the windows, and it was very beautiful to see clusters of bright crimson flowers almost thrusting themselves into the room.

I was very anxious that this, my first party, should be a pretty one, and instead of the heavy, old-fashioned Indian dinners, with quantities of food in big silver dishes, I had the table arranged à la Russe. I wonder if my little readers know what that is. All the meat and puddings and pies were to be handed by the servants, and nothing was put on the dining table except pretty things. There were little white china boys holding baskets of fruit, vases of flowers, preserved fruits and bon-bons from Gunter’s, all sorts of new-shaped goblets and water-jugs, &c. &c. I took a great deal of trouble to see all this properly done by my crowd of stupid servants, and when it was at last arranged stopped to take one more look at it before going to dress, thinking it was all as pretty and nice as possible. I desired one of the men to remain in the room, and went off quite happily to make my toilette. When I had dressed, instead of going into the drawing-room, I thought I should like to have one more look at my dinner-table, and went softly into the dining-room. What a sight met my eyes! No servant was there, he had gone off to smoke his hubble-bubble the moment my back was turned, and the table was surrounded by monkeys, who had got in by the trees which grew close to the windows. They had not contented themselves only with eating up my fruit and cakes, but they had upset the glass dishes, and smeared the preserves all over the table-cloth; they had broken the water bottles, knocked the heads off half my little china boys; in short, you never saw such a mess in your life, and there they stood grinning and chattering, hardly moving even when I rushed at them brandishing my fan as if it had been a poker. I rang the hand-bell furiously, and that frightened them more than anything else. In a moment the old khansamah, or butler, and half-a-dozen other servants came up. I pointed to the table, for I was too angry to speak; and the khansamah, bowing low, joined his hands, and tried to console me by saying in Hindoostanee, ‘Pearl of the Universe, it is the will of Heaven.’ I could not stop to argue this point with him, as my guests were arriving, so I told him to get dinner ready in the usual way as quickly as possible, and went to the drawing-room feeling very much as if I should like to have a good cry over the ruin of all my pretty things. In conclusion, I may tell you that we did not get any dinner at all for more than an hour, and that it was extremely nasty when it came, for everything was over-cooked and spoiled; so I think, considering all things, I have a right to feel angry with langours whenever I remember that unfortunate evening.

We have just five minutes more before nurse comes, so I will end with a short story my father told me, of something which happened many years ago in Jamaica. A new Governor was expected to arrive by the following steamer; he was coming from Demerara, where monkeys abound; his wife was very fond of these pets, and had sent on before her a large iron cage full of monkeys of all sorts and sizes, in charge of a servant. These animals created great excitement on their arrival in Spanish Town, especially among the negroes, who had never seen a monkey, and fancied they were inferior beings of the same class as themselves. The cage was fastened outside the ‘King’s House’ (where the Governor was to live), and for a few days all went well. I must explain to you that the next house to this was one where the President of the Council lived, and was only separated from it by a large garden. Owing to the carelessness of the servant, the cage door was found open one morning, and the monkeys were disporting themselves in the President’s garden, making sad havoc among his fruits and flowers. They were all captured after a little time, except one huge baboon, who climbed into a high tree, and hid himself so cleverly that he could not be found. When the coast was clear, Mr. Monkey came down, and set out on his travels, making his first visit to the President. The black hall-porter was so astonished and alarmed at this unwonted visitor, that he hastily ran upstairs, the baboon following him closely, flung the door of the breakfast-room open, and said in trembling tones: ‘One lilly black genlemans to see massa,’ and then retreated as fast as he could, shutting the door behind him. Now the poor old President had only one leg, and his wooden substitute lay on a chair near him, for he never put it on unless he wanted to move about. He was very indignant at the impudence of his uninvited guest, who immediately began to help himself to the dainties on the table, and he flung his wooden leg at the intruder, never reflecting that he could not stir without its help. When my father happened to look in an hour afterwards he found the old gentleman speechless with rage, still helpless on his chair, and the monkey scrimmaging all over the room, upsetting inkstands, breaking china, and creating the greatest havoc among the President’s books and papers.

Now, there is nurse; do you know those charming lines at the end of Miss Procter’s pretty poem, ‘The Comforter?’—

So good night to my darling Effie:

Keep happy, sweet heart, and grow wise;

There’s one kiss for her golden tresses,

And two for her sleepy eyes.